estogaza (estogaza) wrote in bigender,
  • Mood: exhausted

Confused?

Hello!

This is my first time posting to livejournal in general, so bear with me haha. Anyways, I've been very confused about my gender lately and when I discovered the term 'bigender', it represented everything I was confused about. I've been so sure of it the last couple days, but today, I was kind of on the fence about it. I actually started to think that I wasn't bigendered at all and there was something mentally wrong with me, but I knew deep down that this is who I am and what described me the best. It's just that ever since I was little, I've always identified with boys. I remember when me and my friends played games I would always feel more comfortable if I was a boy instead of a girl. But other times, I was comfortable as a girl. When I got older, I was fine with being a girl, but I wasn't really happy or comfortable in my body. I knew I wasn't trans* because I researched it over and over and it didn't seem to connect with me. So when I discovered this term I was really happy because all my confusion was gone. Then all of a sudden, it reappears this morning. I haven't really talked to anyone about this, seeing as how my parents are both extremely religious and my family is already homophobic and transphobic. I was just wondering, am I really bigendered? Do I need to see a gender therapist in order to find out? Have any of you ever been confused about it?

Thank you.
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