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Wednesday, April 29th, 2015
9:15 pm
Hi everyone!

I'm physically a female and I feel great in my body. However growing up I've always felt like there was part of myself that just felt male. When I was a kid I always liked to play male roles in games and often enjoyed 'boy's stuff (climbing trees, legos, little soldiers, 'fighting') rather than 'girl's stuff (barbies, make up etc). I've grown to be quite feminine but that male part of my brain has never really left, and often I feet like there's something that isn't quite right. I often joke that I should've been born a gay man, and when people ask why I can't quite explain, there's just a part of me that feels that way. I'm also bisexual, and I'm attracted to masculinity both in men and women so this just makes me more confused when I sometimes fantasize with crossdressing thinking that it's something I'm attracted to, but I've come to realize that that instinct is the way my male side manifests itself. I'm a curvy girl with considerable hips, breasts and ass, so there is no way I'd pass as a man. However although a lot of times I'm pretty happy in a dress somedays I wake up and I just want to look different. The closest I've come to masculinity is a sports bra and shirt, but the days that I feel more male in my head if I decide to wear a dress anyway, or cleavage I just kind of feel exposed, vulnerable in a strange way. In my head I don't sometimes feel like a man or like a woman, it's like a mixture of both. I often feel like different situations wake up each gender, as well as some times I identify more with females and sometimes with males. All these things have made more sense to me when I read about bigender quite recently but I'm still very confused.
I'm not sure this feeling is strong enough to actually make an effort to crossdress on daily basis, or if it's just a side of me I should just embrace as my identity and be content that a part of me identifies more with the male sex.
But anyway I'm glad to know there's more people in a similar situation and that I'm not alone!

Current Mood: confused
Saturday, November 30th, 2013
4:51 pm
Trans Awareness Month Project 2 Complete!
I have been recording a video a day throughout the month of November for Transgender Awareness Month. I'm all done now, so I've embedded the whole playlist here instead. Some of these are pretty long, but many of them are short. The actual playlist link is: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=SPPuca_G-4mD1yOYHOXN95n-dHyLClH799

x-posted to transgender

All questions come from the 30-Day Transgender Challenge by TheMiserableMuse on DeviantArt.

Edited to fix embed code
Monday, November 18th, 2013
2:00 pm
Transgender Awareness Month video project
I have been recording a video a day throughout the month of November for Transgender Awareness Month. I'm up to 24, and since I've forgotten to post them here prior to now, I've tried embedding the playlist here instead. Which has the benefit of containing all of the updates from here til the end of the month! Check back each day! I'll update the "I'm up to ..." number until the end of the month, so you'll know when I've updated the playlist.

x-posted to transgenderand my personal journal

All questions come from the 30-Day Transgender Challenge by TheMiserableMuse on DeviantArt.

Current Mood: accomplished
Monday, July 16th, 2012
3:03 pm
Finally a place to rest
Hey all! I'm new to livejournal and here. I've been going through and reading a bunch of past posts. Anyway, I just thought I'd take a moment to introduce myself and my story.

I was born Jon, changed my name to Jessica, but my friends just call me The Doctor with my love of Doctor Who (and the fact that I carry a sonic screwdriver screwdriver in my car). For the longest time I had very prominent feelings of being female and so I pursued that quest so to speak. Eventually I ended up off the hormones for the past year or so and I've noticed a change. Sometimes I feel male and sometimes I feel female. Heck sometimes I feel both or neither. It can only really be described as a see saw motion with male at one end and female at the other. 

Since discovering that there are other people out there who feel like me it has helped calm the storm within so to speak. I've got a few issues as I'm sure we all do. For example my issue is the opposite of KitKat's, I was born male, my drivers license still says male, but the name has changed and so has my body. The hormones have left me with an unmistakably female chest so that my male side can't really go swimming. I've also been going through the hair cutting proposal where my male side wouldn't mind have short hair but my female side loves long hair. It's the age old dilemma. lol

In closing, I'd just like to say that I have very much enjoyed the posting here and it helps me to not feel quite so alone. I have especially enjoyed Brinn's videos (? My apologies if this is wrong). I know we've each got stuff but I think if we support each other as a community we'll all be just fine no matter what those "normal" people may think.

Current Mood: content
Thursday, May 17th, 2012
1:34 pm

This is my first time posting to livejournal in general, so bear with me haha. Anyways, I've been very confused about my gender lately and when I discovered the term 'bigender', it represented everything I was confused about. I've been so sure of it the last couple days, but today, I was kind of on the fence about it. I actually started to think that I wasn't bigendered at all and there was something mentally wrong with me, but I knew deep down that this is who I am and what described me the best. It's just that ever since I was little, I've always identified with boys. I remember when me and my friends played games I would always feel more comfortable if I was a boy instead of a girl. But other times, I was comfortable as a girl. When I got older, I was fine with being a girl, but I wasn't really happy or comfortable in my body. I knew I wasn't trans* because I researched it over and over and it didn't seem to connect with me. So when I discovered this term I was really happy because all my confusion was gone. Then all of a sudden, it reappears this morning. I haven't really talked to anyone about this, seeing as how my parents are both extremely religious and my family is already homophobic and transphobic. I was just wondering, am I really bigendered? Do I need to see a gender therapist in order to find out? Have any of you ever been confused about it?

Thank you.

Current Mood: exhausted
Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
3:33 pm
One thing I have a problem with
And this comes up every year for me as summer approaches, is swimming and the swim wear.  In my own back yard I have a pool and I'm okay to wear whatever I want since it is just my girlfriend and I who live here and fenced in.  I don't feel comfortable in a 1 or 2 piece woman's swim suit unless I'm female so I do actually wear the swim shorts on just the bottom for when I present male and swim in the yard.  Some part of me feels scared it won't be accepted in public to do this though and I have never attempted it.  I am 100% flat chested so that's not really an issue.  But I'm worried that if I ever go swimming in public at say a beach, and if I am wearing swim shorts and presenting male, someone will have a big problem with it and try and get me into trouble.  So I guess I want to know if this is something I will always have to live with and just keep swimming in the privacy of my yard every year or if there is a way that this won't be a problem for other people?  If anyone else has gone through this and has advise I would appreciate it, thank you.

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012
7:52 pm
Media Request
Hello all

I was contacted by a representative for a national television news magazine who is interested in doing a more in-depth report on bigender. The genesis of this was the HuffPo article (which apparently was also on Scientific American and a few other sites) and LauraC's study.

I spoke with the reporter and he seems genuinely interested in investigating and reporting with honesty and respect. I will be going on-camera for this report, and he asked me to see if anyone else would be willing to speak with him, and preferably go on-camera.

He assured me that he would make every effort to preserve anonymity and privacy where needed and requested. Even if you weren't willing to go on-camera, he would like to speak with some more members of the forum and/or bigender-identified people for background if nothing else.

Please contact me if you are interested in participating and I will pass along his information.

Current Mood: curious
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
11:28 am
The Dark Side of Bigender Parenting

It's not always easy being a parent and being bigender. I reference this video in here:

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012
6:28 pm
Child's idea
When I was little I wanted to get married and have kids. Then when the kids were all grown up my partner and I would switch genders and live out the rest of our lives that way. I thought, who wouldn't want to live as both genders?

Current Mood: chipper
1:58 pm
Hi I'm new
My friend posted here awhile ago because I feel like I can't always express myself well.  But I feel like I want a place to talk where people are similar to me so I felt it was time to come see what this community is like.  I'm sorry if my English isn't so good, I do my best! :)

My bigender journeyCollapse )
Friday, March 2nd, 2012
4:41 pm
My coming out
I have just recently started coming out as Bi Gendered. Honestly I just found out there was a word for it a few days ago. I didn't know there were other people like me. I didn't feel like I was born in the wrong body. I love my body and all it's female goodness. However, I also felt there was a man inside of me and at time i wanted that man to be on the outside. I have never gone out or let anyone see me in boy mode. I have two genders, two names. I am a man AND a women. My spouse and I are divorcing. But it's not a sad thing. We're both figuring out who we are and are happy doing so. We have a son and even live together for the time being. I came out to them today and it was amazing. The first person I told. They were very accepting.

I started a blog to have an outlet to talk about this. I hope other Bi Gendered people or just people who want to know more about it will read it. I would be honored if some of you checked it out.

Saturday, February 11th, 2012
8:15 am
I was invited to speak at Yale
It was for their Trans Awareness Week. It was an honor and an awesome experience.

Current Mood: accomplished
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
1:59 pm
Newbie here, need some help

First, I feel like I should probably let you know that I am not bigender, but one of my best friends is.  Kat and I lived together for about three years before I had to move back home to England.  Kat rang me up the other day and it sounds like there are some problems with another individual at work.

(Note:  Please also excuse me for using gender pronouns such as (s)he or her/him, because I don't know whether Kat is in male or female mode today, otherwise I would use the proper mode of address as I always do for Kat)

Click for more detailCollapse )
Monday, July 18th, 2011
6:20 pm
Bigender.net has a YouTube Channel!
Our first topic is "What does Bigender mean to you?"

You can see the intro videos of the collaborators at the channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/bigenderdotnet

Please subscribe and share!

Current Mood: excited
Wednesday, May 25th, 2011
9:41 am
Out and About at Work

I'm really curious about other peoples' opinion and experience with this, especially non-binary identified people.

x-posted to transgender and genderqueer
Sunday, May 1st, 2011
1:27 pm
The new Bigender.net!
So, 1 year ago, April 21, 2010, I launched http://www.bigender.net as a forum site for bigender and multi-people to gather and share support and resources and find other bigender and multi-gender people. As a celebration of it reaching its first year, I have expanded it to now include an installation of dreamwidth. BGN Journals is to be a home for all trans people and cis-allies to create journals and communities. Not a separate, segregated community, but a place of our own with

You can import your LJ account (and eventually a dreamwidth account). It's brand new, and it can only be as good as those who join and build it. I am inviting you all to do so. Use code 'livejournal' and you will get 9 months of paid account time. Eventually it will be a pay-for-privileges site, with ad support for free accounts, but the site isn't quite there yet (it's fully functional, but it still has some small bugs to work out in display and such).

I've also added a chat site at http://chat.bigender.net. The forum is still at http://www.bigender.net/forum or http://forum.bigender.net.

Please come and join me and tell anyone who might be interested :D

x-posted to transgender and genderqueer

Current Mood: excited
Tuesday, April 5th, 2011
2:36 am
Not Faking it, Honest! - bigender.net - Paul - Video 13

Boy mode sponsored by a question on my formspring

Current Mood: sleepy
Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
1:43 am
Originally posted by cassandracav at Finally.
So tonight was rather interesting. I took my wife out on a date, and when we were coming home somehow, just somehow, my bigenderism came up. It wasn't a direct confrontation or anything, but she started to express her concerns in a healthy way. I took jayt's advice (from bg.n) and explained to her how hard it was for me to talk about it, and that I wanted to know what made her uncomfortable so I could comfort her. I explained that it wasn't a sexual thing, just a mental thing -- which, for me, it is. Part of me thinks like a girl and part of me like a boy, and that's just the way I am. She asked if things would ever change between us, and of course, I told her they wouldn't. I'm excited to be with her, and to have children with her. Nothing will change that. I told her how my mother always wanted a girl, and how when my mother mentioned it the other night, I thought that she might spill my secret. It wasn't the biggest step in my life, but it really felt wonderful. I felt accepted, even if just a little, and that makes all the difference.

All in all, it was a wonderful night. ;)
Thursday, March 31st, 2011
11:32 pm
Oh, hello there.
Originally posted by cassandracav at Oh, hello there.
Its about time I wrote another post. There's just something liberating about being able to write again. Being able to express myself in a way that is both easy, comfortable, and kind of awesome. :) I'll admit, I stopped writing because I had this intense fear I'd be caught or found. I guess it comes with the territory, but still, fear is an amazing demotivator. I posted a little emotional block of prose to bigender.net earlier this week. It felt wonderful to get those words out on paper. When I was writing that post, it just flowed right out of me. I actually hadn't intended on posting it to the forums, nor did I intend to burden others with my silly rantings, but it felt right.

Getting back to looking inward is a very strange feeling. I haven't had the urge to self analyze in a very long time. I'm definitely not a stranger to it, but the last few weeks I've been taking personality tests, the COGIATI, and reading up on myself. *laughs* That sounds pretty crazy, having to read someone else's thoughts about who I am, but it matches how I feel which is what matters. I tested as an INFJ on the Meyer-Briggs (MBTI) that I usually take. That's right on how I usually test, and likewise, it matches me almost to the letter. I get feelings about things that I can't explain, I keep back a part of myself (go figure!) and I have extreme perfectionist tendencies. All of this feeds into my feelings on gender. That COGIATI test? I scored a 100. Androgyne. That test, I know, is very unscientific and really kind of silly but I like to take it just to check if anything has changed with me. It hasn't, really. I always fall right in the middle.

Awhile back I started identifying myself as bigender. It makes far more sense to me than anything else, but its also one of the more confusing concepts in gender theory. I can't explain this to anyone; it just doesn't make logical sense to others. I'm not bisexual, I'm just bigender. I practically worship women. *laughs* And those cute little heels... ;)

Anyways, its back to stealth mode for this evening. I have boy things to attend to. I have a funny feeling the girl inside will be dropping little cues tonight, but I do hope she'll behave.
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
2:54 pm
New Brin Video - Seeing Life from Both Sides Now

My latest video. I take a crack at comparing public treatment as a man and as a woman. Thought folks here might find it interesting.
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